Category: Rambles


On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:

Twelve racks of suits.
Eleven Hammond Organs.
Ten lagers with croutons.
Nine diesel decks.
Eight lifeless moons.
Seven cat naps.
Six specs of grit.
Five red hot curries.
Four gazpacho soups.
Three spare heads.
Two pleasure GELF’s.
and a life pod with an alien.

By Roger Vincent
Author of “Apostrophe to Zenith”

Tribute to Prince

In remembrance of  Prince Rogers Nelson

 

Prince my prince what have you done,

Your light now hidden from the sun.

Taken from our love too soon,

Go shine as brightly as the moon.

 

Your friends down here – still earth bound

As heaven rings with your own sound.

The Angels dancing up on high,

As one more star has joined the sky.

 

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Quote – Stephen King.

Alone. Yes, that’s the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.

Leap Day

Leap day frog says,”Happy leap day everyone.”

Leap-Day

Waitarere Jan 2012 065

From Rogerthepoet

A scene from India

India23

India24

As we traveled through the bustling streets of Agra our horse and driver seemed indifferent to all of the activity and the strange smells created by a mixture the rubbish that was often well trampled into the dirt streets, the open sewers or the fact that some people just squatted down to do their business wherever they pleased and the multitude street vendors offering curries , roti breads and a host of other Indian cooking. The traffic didn’t seem to obey any sort of rules as buses, trucks, cars motorbikes, camels, cows, horses, ox’s people pulling makeshift carts and the occasional elephant jostled for position along the busy street. We passes a crowd by the river as we neared our destination. They lit a funeral pyre as we plodded by and said their last goodbyes and prayers for a loved one who had passed into the next life. Huge buzzards stood like sentinels among the poor in their ramshackle dwellings waiting for a life to end so they can pick at the bones. Finally we reach the gateway to the Taj Mahal, quite an impressive feat of architecture in itself, and farewell our horse and cart. Not knowing what to expect and a little shaken by all the sights we have seem so far we have our way through the gate and step into another world. Like a fairy tale palace the sight stops you in your tracks. The water features and gardens are perfect with the awe inspiring Taj Mahal in the background. Like princes we approach the entrance and marvel at the massive intricately carved blocks of marble inlaid with precious stones. As we walk around taking in every aspect of this wonderful place we wish we never had to leave. Looking our past the back of the Taj Mahal, cattle are being lead from the Yamuna river that lazily winds its way through the countryside oblivious to the daily comings and goings that make Agra and India such an amazing place.

Excellence

Striving for excellence is applaudable,

just remember that excellence is not a destination

but a never ending journey.

For those on the journey I wish you well.

Welcome to my website.

Welcome to my website.

Click on the categories above to see more. 

Queen Elizabeth Park 25 May 2013 001 Duck pond walk May 2010 008

The main purpose of this website was to advertise my poetry book, however it seems to have evolved into much more than just that. Have a look around and leave a message is you have any questions about any of the pages, if you just want to say hi that is cool.

There is a sample from my upcoming science fiction book under the “Rambles” heading, feel free to have a read and comment on it if you wish.

Here are two samples from Apostrophe to Zenith (my poetry book).

Butterfly

Butterfly scribbles across the sky,
float away, float away.
A spot of color way up high,
float away, float away.
Your beauty makes the day so new,
won’t you stay, won’t you stay?

One With The Desert

As he fell he noticed the smell
of the driest baron place.
A struggle to move didn’t improve
his disposition or his face.

He did a dry moan and then a slow groan
as he lay in the desert sun.
He had a strange grin just above his chin
as he baked when his day was done.

A quiet rest settled on his chest
but he hadn’t the heart to care.
He tasted dust, as he knew he must
and he hadn’t the breath to swear…

Changing Rimutaka to Remutaka

I can’t believe how stupid people are thinking for one moment that the residents who live in the area would be OK with this ridiculous idea. I understand that it was originally named Remutaka by a Maori Chief ( Haunuiananaia, who lived in  southern Taranaki) but today very few people know the full story and I’m guessing that most people don’t really care either. I don’t believe that this in any way rights the wrongs done in the past to the Maori people but would in fact turn people against them. Why not put up plaques telling the story and perhaps publishing it instead of wasting money and time by changing the name. I have no problem with the Maori people but just think that there is a better way of dealing with this issue.

I would like to include a letter to the editor that appeared in the Dominion Post 30 April 2014

Maori Spelling Debate Meaningless

Again we read the largely futile arguments about how a word in Maori should be spelled. The principal reason such arguments arise is because Maori was not a written language, with no indication as to how vowel sounds should be exactly depicted in print. English missionaries, William Colenso among them, recorded Maori as they heard it and given the variety of pronunciations of vowels among speakers of English and Maori, it is not surprising differences are apparent.

Besides, English vowel sounds as spoken today are likely to be different from what they were nearly 200 years ago.

There is no way to know for sure how a name such as Rimutaka should be ”correctly” spelled, because there is no ”correct” spelling; only what should be an accepted orthography based on the vowel sounds as transliterated into the Greco-Roman alphabet, aided also by what the name actually meant.

One could also ask why, after so many years with the name apparently being satisfactorily accepted as spelled, is it only now giving rise to anguish and confusion?

ALLEN HEATH

Woburn

Let me know what you think by voting or leaving a comment below.

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Citarum River, Indonesia

This is a slide show that I made and am re-posting it here.

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Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370

My first thought after watching several news articles is one of disbelief. Why would you have a tracking system in a plane that can simply be switched off. Surely it shouldn’t be possible to switch it off or there should be a backup tracking system that comes on if the main one is accidentally switched off or damaged. It’s like having a car with a steering wheel that can fall off. Don’t they have a brain? My prayers go out to all the people and families of those who were lost from this tragic flight. What do you think?

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Red Dwarf 12 Days of Christmas.

To all the fans of the TV series “Red Dwarf” I hope you enjoy this.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

Twelve racks of suits,
Eleven Hammond Organs,
Ten lagers with croutons,
Nine diesel decks,
Eight lifeless moons,
Seven cat naps,
Six specks of grit,
Five red hot curries,
Four gazpacho soups,
Three spare heads,
Two pleasure GELF’s,
and a life pod with an alien.

By Roger Vincent
Author of “Apostrophe to Zenith”

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Millennial Star Signs

Millennial Star Signs

Adhereius the Glue Jan 27 – Mar 3
If Jupiters moons were aligned on the day you were born then add 3 weeks 2 hours to your birth date to get your true star sign.
You are curiously drawn to sticky substances like a Mexican is drawn to chilli. A typical day for you consists of one or more of the following: sitting in freshly chewed chewing gum, leaning against wet paint in new clothing and getting your left hand stuck to your favourite appendage with crazy glue. You have an ability to use Ados for hours at a time without getting high.

Pieces the Jigsaw Feb 29 – Apr 3
If there was a collapsing star present in the sky on the day you were born then add 56 days 15 minutes to your birth date to get your true star sign.
Drug addicts, drunks, prostitutes, hit-men, crime bosses and politicians are likely to be your best friends since you can never keep your mind together long enough to expel more than one or two syllable words. You can very rarely make a coherent sentence. You are destined to become president of an Arab State.

Airhead the Fool Mar 28 – May 2
If there was a full moon on the day you were born then substitute your birthday into the following formula to get your true star sign: D(ås + DT2) / PY +27.7. If you can work this out them Pythagoras is proud of you, 150 bonus points, if not just add a week (that will be close enough).
Holding on to enough money to obtain useful possessions or edible food has never been your strong point. You always buy off blind street vendors and are surprisingly impressed by the way they can grab your money almost before you can extract it from your pocket and give you the correct change. You’re the only person who gets lost on the London underground system. You sometimes know you’re a fool.

Porous the Sponge Apr 26 – Jun 2
If a black hole was spotted on the day you were born then add 6 days 2 hours 53 minutes to your birth date to get your true star sign.
You love using up other peoples money and food and have never done an honest days work in your life. Your cloths smell worse than sewage even after being boiled in disinfectant. You only work hard when the boss is watching over you. You have a strange ability to sense when you are being watched.

Jamboree the Scout May 27 – Jul 3
If the Star-ship Enterprise was present in the sky on the day you were born then add 17 days 2 hours 34 minutes to your birth date to get your true star sign plus you also get 200 bonus points.
When you hear the words “clove hitch” you will be willing to follow anybody anywhere. You can tie knots in anything long and pliable. Most people will disown you totally but your grand children will love you and worthogs will find you strangely attractive during mating season.

Canned the convenience food. Jun 27 – Aug 3
If a white dwarf exploded on the day you were born then add 14 hours to your birth date to get your true star sign.
Your favourite activity is changing channels on the TV. Even Tim the one legged toy soldier does more exercise then you. You will not eat anything unless it has been in a can and requires minimal effort to prepare. You are a mindless moron who can’t even tie his shoe-laces or dress properly. When your family or flatmates go on holiday they put you in a dog hotel which you love. You have an ability to open cans in your sleep.

Rodeo the Cowboy Jul 28 – Sep 4
If a twin star system was visible in the sky on the day you were born then add 2 months 5 hours to your birth date to get your true star sign.
You love baked beans, bonfires, billies, bones and most of all big cows. Electronic equipment fascinates you even though you have as much chance of operating it as a blind baboon. The opposite sex fascinates you as well, you can’t operate them either. You will never meet your parents and will have children without even realising how it is possible.

Vobo the Russian Clown Aug 27 – Oct 2
If Mercury, Venus and the Crab Nebula were aligned on the day you were born then you will have a weird birth mark on your bottom lip. Subtract 31 days from your birth date then multiply by the square root of your great grandads birth date to get your true star sign.
Your special talents are juggling and acrobatics but you are as ugly as the devil himself and have to ware a mask on Halloween so that you don’t frighten any old folks to death. You will do well in a circus as long as you are kept as far away from civilisation as possible.

Zebra the Stripes Sep 28 – Nov 3
If no stars were visible on the day you were born then add 2 minutes 59 seconds to your birth date to get your true star sign.
Anti-vegetarianism is your speciality. You love torturing vegetarians by taking them to the freezing works and forcing them to watch the whole process. You have the ability to eat any kind of rotting maggot infested meat. You love Africa and especially striped animals. You would gladly lay your life down for one of these majestic creatures. You are a total smeghead.

Scoria the Rock Oct 27 – Dec 2
If a meteor larger than 1 inch in diameter hit the earth on the day you were born then add 7 minutes to your birth date to get your true star sign.
You are likely to be physically deformed in some way and may be able to earn a decent living off social welfare or scam a lot a money off people at railway stations. With careful plotting you can sell yourself to science. You have the gift of being able to talk to inanimate objects.

Sanctimonious the Monk Nov 28 – Jan 2
If Pluto and Saturn were present in the sky at the time of your birth then add 29 days 6 hours to your birth date to get your true star sign.
Enjoyment for you can only be found by dressing up as a Monk one day and a Nun the next. This gives you a sense of balance. You are a perverted scumbag and enjoy being in both Monks and Nuns dressing rooms. You are destined to become the Popes right-hand man.

Cappuccino the Coffee Dec 30 – Feb 4
If the milky-way was visible in the sky at the time of your birth then add 2 days 2 hours and 57 minutes to your birth date to get your true star sign.
You will grow up to be addicted to all types of drinks both hot and cold and will go to any length to obtain one when you are out of pocket. You are highly allergic to a drink known as tea ( especially Dilmah tea ) and start getting itchy when you smell it. You have the ability to drink piping hot coffee through your right nostril.

(This was written just for fun and not intended to be serious in any way)

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It has occurred to me that women have a host of different types of evening’s that they can go to such as: Tupperware, linen parties, undercover ware, jewelry parties and a host of other stuff but us guys seem to have nothing that caters for us. How about tools, electronic gadgets and computers. Does anybody have some more ideas for guys stuff? Ladies, feel free to let me know what I have missed from your list and I will add them in.

My Science Fiction Book

I’m in the process of writing the last few chapters now so thought I would post this excerpt from the book (I have yet to decide on a title). I hope you enjoy this.

I’m scared,” she said, “I’m sure there’s something down there.”

We all feel the same way Sam. Let’s get out of here,” Bruce said looking at the group. James reluctantly let go of Sam and turned to the group. They all started walking towards the exit and into the empty transit area. James felt a warm hand hold onto his, he turned to Sam and smiled. She didn’t return his smile though, her and the other girls were petrified and held tight to the guys next to them. The place seemed eerie in the dim lighting and they all quickened their pace and headed down to the parking level. Once again they thought they could see movement in the distance but didn’t dare stop to check it out. Christopher, Gemini and Bruce got into a vehicle first and jumped with surprise when it asked for a destination. Sam giggled making Sally and Gemini giggle also. The Vehicle recognised Bruce as one of the government officials and thought it best not to question him. They said quick goodbyes and each of them looked once more into the shadows but saw nothing. Sally, Sam and the J-twins all got into a vehicle with James and Sam in the front.

Can I talk to it?” Sam asked excitedly.

Sure, good luck,” James replied relieved that he didn’t have to do so.

I won’t need any luck, you’ll see,” Sam said.

I won’t say another word,” James said reclining his seat back and relaxing.

Vehicle, we would like to go to the pool please,” Sam said.

I don’t recognise your voice, what is your name please?” the vehicle asked.

Sam Sillest,” Sam replied..

Oh yes, one of the new arrivals. Welcome to Trinnium 2. I hope you enjoy your stay,” the vehicle said.

Thank you, I will,” Sam said.

Which pool would you like to go to?” the vehicle asked.

The main pool please,” Sam said.

Which entrance would you like to go to?” the vehicle asked.

The main entrance,” Sam said.

There’s no such thing as the main entrance, please restate your answer,” the vehicle said.

Any entrance then,” Sam said.

There’s no such thing as the any entrance then, please restate your answer,” the vehicle said.

Does it matter which entrance we go to?” Sam asked.

There’s no such thing as the does it matter which entrance, please restate your answer,” the vehicle said.

You must be kidding. I don’t know which entrance I want to go to,” Sam said getting angry with the vehicle.

Then I suggest you look at a map and find out where you would like to go,” the vehicle said making Sam even angrier.

Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. The J-twins looked at each other but said nothing. Sally watched with interest as Sam brought up a map of Trintech and studied the pool and the various routes that could be taken through the maze of corridors.

OK vehicle could we please go to the Sunpool entry of the Main pool please,” Sam said thinking she had outsmarted the vehicle.

No, you can not go to that entry point from here,” the vehicle said.

Why on Cellest not?” Sam demanded.

That would require us to go outside the building,” the vehicle said.

So,” Sam said.

There’s a category 5 sand storm outside, the wind speed is now over 400km/ph. We would not survive for more than a few seconds out there. Your map is out of date. Do you require access to a weather report and a new map Sam?” the vehicle asked politely.

By the moons of Cellest, I’m going to reprogram this thing soon. James help!!” Sam pleaded. James just smiled and got out his note taker and sent Sam a new map.

Don’t worry, Jim and I often find the AI frustrating. The vehicles are learning though,”

“Jim and James, the J-twins. Where would you like to go sirs?” the vehicle said trying it’s best not to upset them. Sam just rolled her eyes and sat back with her arms folded across her chest.

First things first, roof please, no air conditioning,” James said.

Good idea sir, I have detected several species of desert spider on this level. They must have come in to shelter from the storm,” the vehicle said.

You’re right and none of them are very friendly. Main pool, emergency exit number two please,” James said.

Yes sir,” the vehicle said and headed off out of the parking level. Sam turned to see what Jim and Sally were doing and saw Sally resting against Jim, his arms were around her waist and she was holding onto Jim’s hands.

Well that’s just great, you two are cuddling up while I’m getting frustrated with this vehicles AI,” Sam said. Jim and Sally laughed, James put a reassuring hand on Sam’s shoulder.

I did try and warn you,” James said.

I know you did,” Sam said finally calming down. She pushed some buttons on the seat’s control panel and tried, without much luck, to get the seat to recline. All of a sudden the seat flew backwards to a horizontal position.

Ahh help,” Sam screamed as she fell backwards. Jim and Sally laughed again but James gently put the seat to mid position and moved it next to his.

Thank you James,” Sam said moving next to him, she rested her head on James’s chest and closed her eyes. James put his arms around her and moved her long red hair away from her face but she was already asleep. Sally sat up and looked over at Sam, all the stress had gone from her face. She reminded Sally of when they were children and had nothing to worry about except which game to play next. 

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Roger’s Alliterations Page

Some Alliterations I made up just for fun.

An Amazon army ant accidentally activated an Andean avalanche.

Big Brazilian Bruce Banner bruised bunched bananas before breakfast.

Collin Carpenter’s carnivorous Canadian cows captured Carry’s corn-crunching crows.

Dan Doppler dangled dangerously down Devil’s Drop delivering distasteful drivel.

Eric Estle earned enough Euros eating Eddy’s eagle eggs.

Farmer Frank fished fluffy feathers from Fred’s fountain.

Gloria Gastro gulped grotty green grapes getting gangrenous growths.

Hermajet’s horrid henchmen hoisted heavy hacker Henry high.

Ingenious Ian introduced insidious insects into Iran.

Jumping jousters jostled Jacob’s Jaguar jokingly.

Kenny knees Kelly’s knitted kite.

Laughing Larry lunged ludicrously loudly letting Linda’s llama’s leap.

Murray madly munches mashed mandarins meanwhile Mandy makes melon marmalade.

Naughty nags neighed nearly nudging Nelly’s noodles.

Orangutans open oysters on Okavango’s orange outcrop.

Peter Pero’s prickled panther pants patiently.

Quoted Quebec’s Queen, “quickly quit quacking Quedrick.” (reading from a book called quick quotes)

Ragged rapscallions raced round Rio-de-janeiro really roughly.

Sally Sackford squirted sauce saturating six slippery snakes.

Ten Texas truckies tickled titanic tarantulas.

Trust Tammy Tompkins to throw ten tigers towards Timbuktu.

Unicorns usually understand unskilled university users.

Vincent Vangoff’s vintage van vroomed very vivaciously visiting Venice.

While Willy waited wasted wheat withered wickedly.

Xhosan Xavier x-rayed xenomaniac Xena.

(Xhosan – bantu speaking tribe from South Africa

xenomaniac – person with excessive attachment to foreign things.)

Yolina’s yucky yellow yak yanked yams yesterday.

Zephania zipped zanily zoo-ward.

 

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Ordering Information

Apostrophe to Zenith by Roger Vincnt

Important numbers.

ISBN – 1616670134 or EAN- 9781616670139

If you take the title, author and these numbers in to any bookshop they will be able to order the book for you.

On the web.

You can also click on any of these websites depending on where you are in the world:

NZ
Australia
USA
UK
Ireland
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Italy
India
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Worldwide